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Sleepy = Disenchanted.

I am loathe to identify myself, but it struck me that I (Sleepy) do have 2 different answers to that disgusting question: "What are you?"
who cares? take me back.

Alright, listen...

Intellectually, I am beyond "atheism".
Call me "disenchanted".   
Answering to theists and their theism is like contemplating intellectual suicide. As long as they persist, I will treat every theist as a feckless child, and put them in their place without hesistation.  My maturing mind has been made up on this.  I will never be permissive of the brutality and idiocy that Christians and other dogmatic theists have imposed on my human race. Religion has been allowed to diminish the pursuit of wisdom that once distinguished me and my species from nature.  It has evolved into a widespread, decimating disease.   The intellectual ideas that spew from theism today are, to me, flagrantly puerile and pointless, like wannabe-upstream, backwater swirls in a majestic river of Western philosophy and thousands of years of explorative thought.  A bloody waste of mind and matter! Intellectually, you may call me anything you like, because you know everybody finds their own special way to define me.  I'm complex, not abstract.  There is one thing you can count on: no god living in my head.

***

Spiritually we find another Sleepy altogether.  This is the side that first came upon the room from the Philosophy and Metaphysics chats, guns drawn, firing rounds into resident atheists 10-at-a-time, as fast as my hands could type - much like the power trips fundies try to take, time and time again. During the Sleepy riots, I would spend hours immersing myself in heart-felt, almost scientific explanations of what I know spirituality to be.  I draw mostly from childhood, when my mind and imagination were free and not so susceptible to investments into arrogance and good old-fashioned, American psychological abuse. In that world, and to the extent that it still remains, every god had a chance with me, and still does.

So I'm not an atheist, and I'm not an agnostic, and I'm sure it's great fun picking my brain on how I define those 2 terms. My intellect tells me both are non-existent, especially if there never was any "god". I don't miss the pink unicorns I've heard so much about, and I don't intend to start pining after an absent god.  If there is such a thing, he hasn't made his "existence" or "beyond-existence" known to me, and I've given him plenty of time to show up.  I see the psychoses of believers, and I am not jealous of them. But I don't pretend to know the substance or creation of all existence to any acute degree, because hey, how much can a person's short experience here on earth reveal into the totality of all things?

To be more precise, even though I carry on quite well without God, I shall never make the mistake of believing "Him" to be without validity - as a myth.  I look to the bible and I see a confused English translation of ancient minds. It's nauseating.  I witness preachers in their tactics and I can see quite instantly the difference between wisdom and psycho-capitalistic campaigning. But to read between the lines, to glean some measure of understanding of the Judeo-Roman traditions we live by, and locate depths of spiritual substance, and genetic memory, and psychological exploration, and wisdom, and social contract, and hierarchy of values... that the biblical stories try to codify. There is much to be gained by respecting the truth behind the myths. Which is why fundies are SO offensive... they clearly have no clue... no truth. They are all-myth, and no context. Just a bible and an urgent insistence that their delusions of grandeur be respected - or else.  That kind of thinking can "go to Hell".

In the bible, we can see the spirits of today's physical science, math, biology, politics and history where they first began.  It's a myth, not a lie.  Aliens didn't create the design we live by, we did. Deep within ancient communicae, one should be able to merge with his ancestors' thinking... after all, it was only 200 generations ago.  And if you can forgive the differences between your central-heating-cozy modern mind, and the cold, filthy, smelly, short-lived, virile, mud-house lives of those who took time out of their farming and fearing to carve their more resonant dreams into stone... you can appreciate those myths for what they really are. Not arcane and untouchable at all, if you're willing.  I don't care how many Christians tax the credibility of the Jews for personal glory... the bible is history... the FIRST history... and it's an integral part of a beautiful species. (Nearly extinct).  I need that history. And I love it. It's MINE.  And I intend to defend it from the burdens of modern psychology.  Forever...


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